The Lost Art of Disagreeing without fighting

I've had my share of unkind words thrown my way over the past few years, as our country has become increasingly heated with politics and debate. I've also had discussions with people that know how to respectfully disagree.

Verbal fights online, political contention, and hatred for "the other side" of the aisle has become all too common. It pains me to see how much unkindness is possible, especially hiding behind a screen. Words are said over virtual platforms that the same person would never say in-person. Politics have become a bloody battlefield where every person feels they must pick a side. How do we hold discussions with one another and not get sucked into accusations and rudeness? It all boils down to our intensions, how we view the other person and the spirit with which we discuss ideas.

When we see the other individual as part of the "evil" side, we treat them as such and feel justified in that treatment. We ought to see them as a human being that has a right to their opininions and beliefs. They are a son or daughter of God. As we debate and discuss ideas, we can do so respectfully and with grace. These days there is so much tolerance for name-calling and unkindness when that should never be part of debate. When someone throws a stone, we need to pray for the strength to not return the blow.

President Dallin H Oaks taught "Though we may disagree, we should not be disagreeable." I believe that if we have the Holy Ghost with us, we can approach disagreements with a lens of love and desire for mutual understanding instead of with a sword going into battle. The key to diffusing tension is listening. When a person feels they are heard and that their opinion has worth to you, then they will most likely also respond with respectfulness and grace as well. As the world fills with more and more tension, may we be part of the solution, which is love and kindness in word and deed.

Challenge: Identify someone in your life that disagrees with you on a topic. Ask them if you can hold a discussion on the topic, then practice love, kindness and listening to learn instead of hurtful debate.